Monthly Archives: May 2017

Some People Only Listen So That They Can Talk

As a result of this, one may as well have been talking to themselves; the person in front of them is not interested in what they have to say. This person’s priority will be to express what is on their mind.

Once this has taken place it might be possible for them to listen to what one has to say. Then again, there is also the chance that their behaviour won’t change, and that they will continue to behave in the same way.

One Focus

It could then be said that they will be focused on their own need and this is then why they are unable to think about ones needs. One person’s needs are going to be met but the other person’s needs are going to be overlooked.

If one doesn’t know this person or rarely spends time with them, this might not have much of an effect on their life. However, if they spend a lot of time around someone like this, it might be a lot harder for them to tolerate it.

Part of Life

Still, there are likely to be moments in everyone’s life when they are more concerned with speaking than they are with listening. This can happen when someone is going through a challenging time or if they have just had a powerful experience, for instance.

But this is not going to be the same as when someone has the tendency to ignore what other people have to say and even talks over them. What is clear is that this person is out of balance.

A Means to an End

In general, they are only going to listen to what another person has to say so that they can talk. And even when this takes place, there are going to be moments when they cut people off.

The trouble is that if they are completely caught up with their own needs, it is going to stop them from being able see the effect that their behaviour is having on others. Their relationships can end up getting worse, and they can push a lot of people away.

Overpowered

During the moments when they are the ones who are being walked over, they may find that they feel overwhelmed. The other person is just going to take over and it can be as if there is nothing they can do.

If this is how they feel, it will give them an idea of what someone can go through when they don’t listen. In order for this to take place, one will need to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour.

Overlooked

When one doesn’t listen to what another person has to say, it is not going to have a positive effect on them. They could come to believe that one doesn’t value what they have to say and that they don’t value them as a person.

Ultimately, they are likely to feel invalidated, and this is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. And as they are being treated in this way, there is going to be no reason for them to care about what one has to say either.

A Build Up

If something like this happens every now and then, it might cause someone to feel frustrated and angry. Even so, how they feel should pass and it shouldn’t have a negative effect on their relationship.

On the other hand, if this was to happen on a regular basis, this might not take place. Instead, they could start to resent the other person, and this can end up destroying their relationship.

The Freedom Take Our Personal Responsibility

Think of those persons in your life that struggle massively with unforgiveness. Do they also seem unable to find the freedom that Christ went to the cross to give them? Do they also struggle to take their responsibility for mistakes made? Or, is it always someone else’s fault? Perhaps they find it impossible to attribute any causation to themselves. It could be that we, ourselves, resonate with these descriptions.

The thesis of this little piece is that forgiveness comes easier to people who readily take responsibility for their lives, and that those people are the mature, and free, ones.The thesis of this little piece is that forgiveness comes easier to people who readily take responsibility for their lives, and that those people are the mature, and free, ones.

Final frontiers of forgiveness occur when we encounter others who do not take responsibility. And, finding we cannot take all the responsibility, because relationships always feature contributions on both sides in conflicts, forgiveness is quickly thwarted where one party does not take their responsibility.

This is why we will never feel happy, safe or content in relationships with people who do not take personal responsibility for their lives. They, themselves, cannot be happy. They cannot be free. It’s as if they’re tormented. They have yet to experience the freedom that comes from being honest.

If you find yourself in an irresolvable situation with someone, where you’ve done all your apologising, and you’re still waiting on theirs, ask yourself, “Are they taking responsibility for their portion of the conflict?” Chances are they are not. Therein lies the problem.Likewise, if you find yourself cornered by bitterness, ask, “Am I taking personal responsibility for my portion of what went wrong?” Perhaps you are not. Be sure that the double doors to forgiveness and freedom open up when we’re responsible for what we could’ve done better

 

Someone To Leave An Abusive Relationship When They Are Emotionally

The Next Step

The reason for this is that one could be in a job that is paying them the money that they need to survive. Therefore, if they were to just walk away, there life could end up getting even worse.

In order for them to get away, they will need to find somewhere else to work. Once they have found another job, they will finally be able to walk away from somewhere that has run its course.

Another Area

Alternatively, one could be in a relationship with someone that is no longer working, or perhaps it has become abusive, for instance. They may even have tried to make it work, but it could be clear that this is not going to happen.

Moving On

And the longer they stay with them, the harder it is likely to be for them to walk away. One could end up feeling extremely low, that is they don’t feel that way already, and they won’t have the energy to do what is necessary.

They might just be able to walk away, or there could be a number of things that they need to think about. For example, if they have children or are unable to support themselves financially, they will need to think about their children or how the will support themselves.

Caught Up

If one does have children, they could have moments when they think about how they need to stay with their partner for the sake of their children. Yet, while this can sound like the right thing to do, it could end up doing more harm than good.

This is certainly going to be the case if they are in an abusive relationship; their child/ children will end up having to live in a dysfunctional environment. And no matter how old they are, this is not going to be good for their development.

Short-Term Pain, Long-Term Gain

On the other hand, if one is in a position where they depend on their partner for money, it is going to be no different. Staying with them for this reason is not going having a positive effect on their wellbeing.

It will be vital for them to believe that this can change, and then to look for a way for make this happen. What could give them the motivation that they need is if they focus on how they will feel if they continue to experience life in this way.

Another Factor

There is also going to be the part that one’s mental and emotional health will play in all this, as it is going to be a lot easier for them to walk away if they are able to handle their own emotions. If they can do this, they are not going to be emotionally dependent on the other person.

So, regardless of whether they need their partner’s financial support, they will know that they don’t need to be with them in order to experience inner stability. Through having this ability, it can give them the strength to be able to listen to themselves.

A Choice

As a result of this, it is likely to mean that one ended up with this person because they wanted to be with them. And if this is the reason why they ended up together, there is going to be no reason for one to stay with them if they no longer want to be with them.

Now, this is not to say that one won’t feel sad or down, for instance, after the relationship has ended; what it is likely mean is that they won’t emotionally collapse. This comes down to the fact that one will be an interdependent an adult, as opposed to a dependent adult.

A Different Experience

There is then going to be others who are unable to handle their own emotions, and this is going to make it a lot harder for them to end a relationship that is no longer working. If one can relate to this, they may find that this played a big part in why they got together in the first place.

One might have just been looking for someone to settle them down or to ‘complete them’, and this may have caused them to rush into a relationship. Consequently, one wouldn’t have taken the time to find out if they were suitable for them.

Red Flags

There may then have been clear signs that this person wasn’t right for them and their friends may also have told them to find someone else, but it wouldn’t have had an effect on them. Their emotions would have been in control, and this would have stopped them from being able to think clearly.

If they were to think about leaving the person they are with, they could end up being overwhelmed with fear. It can then seem as though they only have two options: either they stay in a relationship that is having a negative effect on them, or they walk away and end up being even worse off.

A Deeper Look

What is clear is that is that one’s life would be radically different if they had the ability to handle their own emotions. There is likely to be a reason why they are experiencing life in this way, and it can be due to what took place when they were younger.

Someone Moved On If They Are In A New Relationship

For one of them, this could be like a new beginning; a time when they will be able to do the things that they were unable to do before. This could mean that they were with someone who was controlling, but this might not be the case.

It could simply show that they had other priorities, and that this caused them to neglect certain needs. Either way, they will now have more time to focus on what they overlooked before.

Straight Back In

Alternatively, both of them could end up seeing someone else more or less straight away – or this might only apply to one of them. They are then not going to feel the need to take a break and to find themselves again, so to speak.

If both of them ended up with someone else, it might not bother either of them if they were to find out about what the other person is doing. They might be pleased that their ex has found someone else to be with.

Just One

Yet, if only one of them has found someone else, it could have a negative effect on the other. This might be hard to understand; especially as both of them were happy to move on with their life.

What this could show is that they formed an emotional connection with this person, and this is why they feel this way. Part of them can then be happy that it has ended; yet another part of them can be in pain.

Life Goes On

After finding out about this, one could spend a lot of time thinking about their ex, or they could soon let it go. One could say to themselves that as they are no longer with them, it doesn’t matter who they are with.

Through having this outlook, it is going to be a lot easier for them to focus on their own life. If, on the other hand, they get caught up in what their ex is or is not doing, it is going to stop them from being able to do this.

External Support

But if one was to find that they are unable to focus on their own life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for the right assistance. This can show that the part of them that wants to move on is stronger than the part of them that doesn’t.

If they were to reach out, this could be a time when they will have to work through the pain that is within them. Through experiencing loss, they can be carrying a lot of grief within them, and this may need to be cried out.

Another Experience

When a relationship ends and each person is happy with this outcome, it could be said that this will be the ideal scenario. Both of them can experience pain – one person might even experience more pain than the other – but at least they will have wanted it to end.

Whereas, if one person wanted it to end but the other person didn’t, it is going to be a lot harder for one of them to move on. There is then not just going to be a small part of them that is in pain – a big part of them is going to be in a bad way.